Personal Hell

I am not a very religious person. I have my beliefs, and such, but in general I am not the type of person that goes around referencing my religion. One of the things that do acknowledge is my belief in a "heaven" and a "hell." And in my daily routine I look at certain situations and I think, "If I am a good person this will be my heaven." or "If I am a miserable person this will be my hell."

Today I experienced one of my own personal "hells": Costco in Brooklyn. If I am a miserable nasty bitch I will spend eternity in the Costco on 3rd Avenue in Brooklyn. I will spend my afterlife dealing with rude ass people who NEED to bring their entire extended families to Costco. I will have to be in the presence of people who are buying gallons of grape juice, tube socks, folding chairs, and mega jars of peanut butter fighting over a pizza bagel sample while ramming into me with their overpacked carts. Now don't get me wrong, I realize that Costco has a purpose, but the one in Brooklyn needs to go.

If you dare to go there on a weekend you will drive around looking for a spot, and eventually have to settle for the "overflow" lot where you will have the pleasure of parking next to their "shopping cart graveyard" and walking by a gross strip club before you have to walk around the entire warehouse to the front entrance. Then you will have to fight for a shopping cart. You literally have to stalk someone for their shopping cart, wait until they are finished unloading and fight off other people for your god damn shopping cart! Once inside you have to witness the gluttony that is the American pasttime. People buying processed food, junk food, large screen televisions, and 4 of everything they need and don't need. Looking at people's carts is enough to make a person never want to eat again. And then there are the children. People bring all of their kids with them to Costco. All of them. They let these rugrats push the shopping carts, they let them run wild. Who told them that Costco is a playground? Who????? Leave the village at home people! Leave them at home!

Now I do feel that there are some good deals to be had. I buy the following at Costco: Advil, Tampons, Ziploc bags, and Dishwasher Tablets. If we are entertaining I may go there to pick up a few things. And I might buy one of the big things of laundry detergent if I have the room for it. In my opinion most of the things they sell there are ridiculous. You can buy 5 things of dental floss. I am sure it is a "good deal" but how long would it take to use that much floss? Its madness.

For the record I do not pay for my own membership at Costco. My Mother supplies me with her additional card. My Mom still insists on going there, even though it is only her and my Dad at home. She buys the mega bag of baby spinach, and then she tries to pawn it off on me. I appreciate the free spinach, but I have no idea why she buys it.

So yes, if I continue to yell at people in my head to get off of the elevator faster, my personal hell would be to spend eternity in Costco on 3rd Ave. God help me.