Secretly Unstable

I have been told I am crazy, funny, a good cook, and a decent blogger. These are the expectations I am trying to live up to. Thank you.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Excuse me Miss, you forgot your pants.

This morning I saw five women who forgot to put pants on. They were just going to work with no pants. Completely "Donald Ducking" it. I have noticed this going on for the last few weeks. I am averaging spotting at least two women per day without pants.

Where have their pants gone? Did they leave them someplace? Is there an anti-pants movement? Are pants to them a representation of the repression of a male dominated society? Or are they just not realizing that the sweater dress, babydoll dress, long t-shirt look still requires pants (perhaps leggings) or shorts of some kind?

Me thinks it is the latter.

I love leggings. I am their 1 fan. I was thrilled when they made a comeback. I enjoy leggings under skirts or dresses that I deem too short for myself. Now I don't understand why all of these women who are walking around (to and from work, I might add) have neglected wearing leggings undernealth their cute dresses. Some have opted to wear tights, but the program is that there are few tights out there that are opaque enough in the direct sunlight to fully cover. (I know they look opaque in their dark LES apartments, but in the sunshine, I can see your tushy.) Those who know my fall and winter fashion style know I enjoy tights as well. So I am not knocking tights, but tights are from when you have a skirt on that covers your butt.

Here are some basic questions that I think these ladies should ask themselves when thinking, "should I put pants on with this outfit?"

1. Do the tips of my fingers fall below the hem of my skirt/dress/shirt?
2. If I was to bend over would the whole city see my bottom?
3. When walking up the subway steps will I be exposing the people behind me to my behind?
4. Are my tights one size to small for me, therefore making them less opaque?
5. Do I have a big butt?

If the answer is yes to any of these questions, I think these ladies should walk back up the three flights to their third floor apartment and put some pants on. I mean your average pair of leggings is less than $20. That is like 1/2 a cocktail in the Meat Packing District. They can afford them.