I am wrapping up my first week back, and I think I have been asked "how are you doing?" about 1000 times. Sometimes I lie and I say, "Great." Sometimes I say something humorous, "For sucking, it is fine." Sometimes I just grunt. And sometimes I tell the truth, "I dunno."

I don't know how I am doing. I guess it is too early to really know. I haven't really done any actual work. I have sat in a few meetings, replied to a few emails, I even picked up my phone. (I haven't returned any phone calls, I opted to delete the 166 voicemails without even listening to a one.) I have ran out of here at 5PM everyday. (There's a lot of people on a the train at 5PM, what do they all do that they can leave work at 5PM everyday?) Besides the pain in the ass of pumping breastmilk 3 times a day, things are pretty easy. I know how to do my job, that hasn't changed. The hardest part is that I am totally pre-occupied with baby.

Ruby is doing well. Her schedule is working out pretty good, knock on wood. Teresa, her nanny, is working out well too. Baby is not crying when I call, and is clean and not crying when I get home. I guess that is well enough.

I still haven't gotten over how sad it is that I have to be away from Ruby for at least 10 hours every day. 50 hours per week. That is such a ridiculous amount of time. I am going to request that I work from home for 1 day a week. I still have to have Teresa come on that day, but I least I can be with her. 3 days a week seems a hell of a lot better than 2 days a week.

One notable change in perspective is how I look at being at home. When I walk in the door now I am no longer consumed with, "what are we eating for dinner?," "when am I going to to clean that?," "what am I going to watch on TV?," and "when can I get out of here?" Now it is grab the baby. Sit with the baby. Smile at the baby. And that it pretty much what I have planned for the weekend!