I have debated writing this blog for a few weeks now. I usually write blogs that I think other people will want to read and I am pretty sure that very few people want to read about breastfeeding. But I typically blog about what I obsess about, food, television, commuting, efficiency in general, etc. And it is fair to say that I am obsessed about breastfeeding.

If you have spoken to me lately, (thanks for speaking to me between talking to Ruby and Sweetpea all day is fine, but neither talks back) I have probably gone on and on about feeding Ruby. All I obsess about lately is how much Ruby eats. I used to obsess about a lot of things, see above. Now I only care about Ruby and how much she eats. Breastfeeding is the biggest challenge of my entire life and I am truly obsess about everything having to do with it.

My obsession started when Ruby was 5 days old. Before this point, I did what all of the breastfeeding books tell you to do, not obsess. Then I realized that my baby wasn't eating. We were having so many problems with breastfeeding, and she just wasn't eating (or wasn't eating enough.) I told the nurses in the hospital that we were having problems, and they told me not to worry and that newborns aren't interested in eating. But even with all of their reassurance that everything would be fine, I knew better. I had a lactation consultant come and visit and she informed us that Ruby was definitely jaundice and not eating enough. Based on her recommendation I started pumping and supplementing with formula and we spent 2 nights back in the hospital clearing up her jaundice.

When we got home I continued to pump and feed Ruby from a bottle. Feeding a newborn that you want to breastfeed from a bottle is like breaking the first rule of breastfeeding. Everyone warned me about "nipple confusion." But screw them, she had to eat and she wasn't latching on. It sickens me how people get on high horses about breastfeeding. They are so nazi-like that they don't get the most important part, the baby has to eat. It was hard to pump and feed Ruby, but what else do I have to do anyway. The best part of this stage is that Ruby was eating! And I knew exactly how much.

I still dreamed about just being able to feed Ruby straight from the tap. So we kept trying and all of a sudden she latched on! How great right? WRONG. We traded one problem for another and it hurt like hell! So enter lactation consultant 2. She came over and informed me that Ruby had what they call "tongue-tie" and couldn't bring her tongue down. She said that Ruby would need a procedure to fix it if we wanted to breastfeed like normal. After she left, I cried. And I cried more than I usually cry these days.

After I composed myself, and remembered what is really important: BABY EATS. I decided that we would just continue to pump and give it to Ruby via bottle. After a week of solely giving Ruby a bottle, I wondered if she would latch on without me crying... And wouldn't you know, Ruby latched on perfectly! From then on we have been breastfeeding straight from the tap! 3 weeks and counting!

I am very happy that we beat the "odds"! We are breastfeeding rebels. Looking back on this whole experience I am bitter about all of the "breastfeeding rules." In the end the only advice that worked was "don't give up." I truly understand why Moms decide to formula feed. And I actually think we should blame the breastfeeding nazis for the reason why women give up. They scream all of these rules at you, whether via book, internet, on the phone, or in person, when all anyone needs to say is "keep trying, but remember baby has to eat." If a new Mom is told it is "ok to give your brand new baby a bottle, pump breast milk and supplement with formula, just try to get your baby to latch on at least two times a day" it would be so much less stressful. Why does it have to be all or nothing?

Women are pushed into believing that they ruin all chances of getting their baby to breastfeed if they give their baby a bottle. So if they are in a situation where they have to give the baby a bottle (baby won't latch, it hurts, milks not in yet, or one of the other thousands things that can go wrong) they figure they blew their chance at breastfeeding and they give up. I don't blame them. These breastfeeding pushers need to relax themselves and remember that it is more important for the baby to eat then it is to fear "nipple confusion."

I am sure this is only my first experience as a Mother in dealing with self-righteous, narrow minded advice. But I think I learned a few very important lessons:
1. Just because I paid someone for their advice it doesn't mean that advice is right.
2. Trust my instincts.
3. Asking people who are actually breastfeeding is best.

On top of these lessons, I would also like to call out what I refer to as "breastfeeding lies." If you listen to any of the breastfeeding nazis, you have to sit through hours or pages of the benefits of breastfeeding. The real benefits of breastfeeding can be stated in about 5 minutes or one page. And a person of average intelligence can pick up on these benefits quickly. Here are the lies:
1. Breastfeed baby's poop doesn't smell. LIE. It doesn't smell like poop, but it smells bad.
2. Breastfeeding is free. LIE. Breast pumps are like $250. Lactation consultants are $250-$350 per hour. Breast milk freezer bags, pump accessories, bottles to feed baby expressed milk, breastfeeding classes, breastfeeding books, nursing bras, nursing tops, breast pads, breastfeeding stools and pillows, etc all cost real money.
3. Breastfeeding is easy and natural. LIE. LIE. We don't live in a society where women share and teach their breastfeeding experiences to other women openly. We have lost years and generations of knowledge when formula feeding came into fashion. There are a number of obstacles to overcome. Breastfeeding is possible. Not easy.
4. Formula is evil. LIE. Formula is not poison. Baby will not be sick, stupid, or unloved if baby gets formula. Baby will be just fine. How do I know this? I was formula feed, along with millions of other people. We are all fine.
5. Baby will reject the boob if baby gets a bottle. LIE. Ruby got a bottle for the first 3 weeks of her life. She is now going on 4 weeks of only getting the boob. Nipple confusion crap caused me unnecessary stress and worry.

Here are the truths about breastfeeding as I see them:
1. Newborns have no immunity, breastmilk gives baby Mom's antibodies to help baby fight disease. Formula doesn't have antibodies.
2. Breastmilk contains nutrients, proteins, and fats that are tailored to baby's needs.
3. It is cheaper than formula.
4. You wash less bottles and nipples.
5. Have boob, food travels.
6. You burn about 250 calories per breastfeeding session. (This equals more cookies for Mom.)

So Ruby rocks the bottle and the boob. She is my little overachiever rebel already!