Secretly Unstable

I have been told I am crazy, funny, a good cook, and a decent blogger. These are the expectations I am trying to live up to. Thank you.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The title of this blog should actually be "Daytime TV Sucks." But I figured I would stick with the "Bringing Up Ruby" theme for a bit.

So it is week 2 of being home without Derek with Ruby and Sweetpea. Everyday I get slightly better at this "Mom" thing. We have less wasted diapers, and I am able to apply my usual efficiency goals to a couple of things. But in general I expect the unexpected.

In between the madness of feedings, pumping breastmilk, changing diapers, and calming Ruby there are periods of quiet. During these times of quiet, that can last between 1-60 minutes I do a couple of things:

1. I have the TV on pretty much all day. I am trying to figure out whether or not this is a bad thing or a necessary thing. It is pretty much background noise. I don't actually devote any time to watching anything, but occassionally during these quiet times I do notice the crap that they call daytime television. In the morning I am subject to morning shows. I used to be a fan of Good Day New York back in the Jim Ryan/Lynn Brown days. Now it sucks and what is with the "Good Day Dance." I am tempted to boycott Fox, that is much how hate the "Good Day Dance." After the morning shows you have the Regis/View and the cheap copy cat shows. There is a copy cat show on Fox. Yet another reason to boycott Fox. Next there is the talk shows... Tyra, Maury, Rachel. Ugh. Bad, bad, and bad. I can't even have it on the television as background noise. Tyra especially. Who told her that she has a point of view that any one wants to listen to? Of course there are the soap operas. There is no way in hell that I am going to watch a soap. I couldn't risk actually enjoying it. There are some moments that I am tending to Ruby and I can't reach the remote to change the channel. It is scary. Cable TV isn't any better. I can only watch so much Food Network, I am too picky about my Food Network personalities. And forget about all of the dumb makeover, home shows, and baby programs. Just cause I have a baby doesn't mean I want to watch other people with babies. I wait for 6PM to come around so I can start watching Law & Order. (I can't do Law & Order during the day because they repeat the episodes at night, and if I watched them during the day I would have nothing to watch in the evening.)

2. I talk to Ruby and Sweetpea. And no one talks back. I read a Mother Goose story to a sleeping Ruby and to the dog yesterday. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sweetpea was at least awake. One of them needs to start talking soon.

3. I read the stupid baby book. It is like the modern day "Dr. Spock." I hate this book, but I keep referring to it. I am obsessed with how much Ruby is eating, how much she is sleeping, the noises she makes. Does she hiccup too much? What is the right temperature the room should be? How much breastmilk should I be producing? So I read the book, the book is either too vague or too opinionated. I am going to set fire to the book once she reaches toddler age.

4. I write lists of the things I need to do. The list includes tasks like "cut fingernails, pay bills, write thank you notes, toss out dead flowers, tweeze eyebrows, etc." Now I write the list. But I haven't done any of these things.

5. Write blogs.

Mind you as I have this quiet time, I am still holding Ruby. So right now I have to end this blog. The laptop is on my lap, Ruby is laying on my chest and her butt is on my left arm. I am losing feeling in my lefthand so I have to stop typing.