Remember my previous blogs about how I am scared of labor and the baby? Well I have turned a significant corner. Now I am afraid of being pregnant forever. The human body and biology in general has amazed me the last 9 months. From the basic fact that we can grow people inside of us, to how the fear of labor and delivery subsides towards the end and you just want to baby out (by any means necessary.)
I have been pretty comfortable up until the last month. But now I am ready. And I think the baby is cooked. So now it is just up to her to get motivated. I don't sleep anymore. I am up every 2 hours. I watch the Weather Channel instead of sleeping. I have never been so up date on current weather conditions. Sitting is uncomfortable. Standing is uncomfortable. Walking is tiring, unless I am walking to the bathroom to pee, then it is painful. And god forbid I have to pee and sneeze at the same time. It is a tramatic nerve racking experience. (It is one of those things that they don't tell you in the pregnancy books, even the ones that tells you that they tell you what the books don't tell you.)
Everyday at work is a significant challenge. I find myself more irritated by the usual stuff then before. I want to answer all requests with the statement, "Ya... I don't care" or "Nine months pregnant, bye!" I don't want to just be sitting at home, but I don't want to be here. You know you have had enough when you prefer labor to work.
A weird waiting game has started. When and where will I go into labor. On the subway? At work? In a bar playing Wii? At a restaurant? In the middle of the night? The lack of control is scary. I like to control everything. Looking at the month of November is weird. It is like things are going on, but what will my capacity be? My birthday is November 19th. Baby will definitely be here by then. Do I make plans? I am kidding myself about making plans? Have baby will travel? Or lock yourself in the house for at least the first 8 weeks? I figure all of these questions will be answered in the very near future, right?
People always ask, "Are you ready?" And the answer is "yes." I am ready to be not pregnant anymore. I am ready to be a Mom. The baby's room is done. The baby's stuff is assembled. We are ready to have our lives turned upside down. We are ready as we will ever be. The better question is actually, "Is baby ready?"
I have been pretty comfortable up until the last month. But now I am ready. And I think the baby is cooked. So now it is just up to her to get motivated. I don't sleep anymore. I am up every 2 hours. I watch the Weather Channel instead of sleeping. I have never been so up date on current weather conditions. Sitting is uncomfortable. Standing is uncomfortable. Walking is tiring, unless I am walking to the bathroom to pee, then it is painful. And god forbid I have to pee and sneeze at the same time. It is a tramatic nerve racking experience. (It is one of those things that they don't tell you in the pregnancy books, even the ones that tells you that they tell you what the books don't tell you.)
Everyday at work is a significant challenge. I find myself more irritated by the usual stuff then before. I want to answer all requests with the statement, "Ya... I don't care" or "Nine months pregnant, bye!" I don't want to just be sitting at home, but I don't want to be here. You know you have had enough when you prefer labor to work.
A weird waiting game has started. When and where will I go into labor. On the subway? At work? In a bar playing Wii? At a restaurant? In the middle of the night? The lack of control is scary. I like to control everything. Looking at the month of November is weird. It is like things are going on, but what will my capacity be? My birthday is November 19th. Baby will definitely be here by then. Do I make plans? I am kidding myself about making plans? Have baby will travel? Or lock yourself in the house for at least the first 8 weeks? I figure all of these questions will be answered in the very near future, right?
People always ask, "Are you ready?" And the answer is "yes." I am ready to be not pregnant anymore. I am ready to be a Mom. The baby's room is done. The baby's stuff is assembled. We are ready to have our lives turned upside down. We are ready as we will ever be. The better question is actually, "Is baby ready?"
posted by Alaina @ 6:15 PM
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