This is a terrible way to start off the new year, but I have to get this off my chest. I hate this man:


You know who he is, it is Billy Mays of Oxy Clean, Kaboom, Orange Glow, etc infomerical fame. Given I am watching a ridiculous amount of daytime TV I think I see more of this man then the average person. If I was at work, I would research how much this product are on television and then I would wonder why marketing people have invested so much in this man.

I don't have to even be looking at the television to know that he is on hawking one of his wears. You hear that irritating voice... that monotone scream with no inflection. It makes me so mad. I am not even saying that the products are crappy. I am sure they are all terrific. I just can't stand Billy Mays, and I will never buy any product associated with him. Here's a list of these products (don't you just love Wikipedia):
* OxiClean, Orange Clean, Orange Glo
* Hercules Hook wall hangers
* Simoniz Fix It Scratch Remover
* Ding King automotive dent remover
* Gopher reaching tool
* Zorbeez absorbent towels
* Lint-B-Gone lint brush
* Samurai Shark knife sharpener
* Liquid Diamond car waxing product
* AwesomeAuger Ground Auger, Weed Auger, and Power Extender gardening tools
* Grip Wrench
* Turbo Tiger vacuum cleaner
* Fix It car scratcher remover
* FreeFone wireless phone holder
* Swamp Busters
* Handy Switch remote light switches
* Mighty Putty[12]
* Easy off bam!
* Crocodile Cutter
* Rogaine Facial Hair
* Sealtite Tire Sealant
* Genco Power Solutions
* Vidalia Slice Wizard
* Steam Buddy wrinkle remover/creaser
* Sticky Puddy
* Kaboom! products
* Bang! Automotive dent remover

Now there is no way that you haven't seen one of these commercials. But just in case you have had been living in a distant third world country without television here a beautiful blopper video:

After watching this video, not only do I dislike this man for being annoying, but he seems like a real douchebag. I think he might want to kick my ass for writing this blog. But I say bring it on.. Ruby, Sweetpea, and I will kick his ass and shave off that creepy beard!

And since I am on the topic of daytime commercial icons, what happen to Mario Perillo of Perillo Tours? His son Steve is now selling tours of Italy on TV! Steve Perillo??? Why would I buy a tour of Italy from Steve Perillo? Mario Perillo sounds much more credible. What is next? Will Mount Airy Lodge close? You know you can sing the jiggle!

Dear 2008,
Please be boring, cause 2007 was quite a year.
Thanks,
Alaina

2007 was crazy. I hope 2008 is nice and dull. Granted we have a lot of surprises and more unknown out there than we could ever imagine, so I doubt "dull" is going to happen.

In January 2007 we bought a house. I still can't believe that we own a house. That reminds me, I have to pay the mortgage. Fucking house. In 2006 we spent stupid money on stupid things. Ah, the good old days of fancy cheese and Vans Prison Issue sneakers.

In February 2007 we made a baby. Of course we didn't realize this at the time. I am not exactly sure, but Ruby might be a Valentine's Day baby... how cheesy of us.

In March 2007 we moved into the house. Bye bye apartment that I loved so much. I was able to vacuum the whole place by plugging into one outlet. I loved that.

In April 2007 Derek turned 30. We are getting older. Thank goodness I still look like a 14 year old. Yeah people think I am a teenage Mom.

In May 2007 we paid our first mortgage payment, what a bitch.

In August 2007 our car died. The Subaru was with us for 8 years. Farewell (we got it out of the garage in December.) A tornado also came down our block and destroyed a tree in our backyard. No tornados in Brooklyn until we own property here.

In October 2007 we had a baby. See other blogs.

So I would really like a quiet 2008.

Motherhood has been filled with surprises. I was surprised that babies like to pee and poop when their diaper is off. I was surprised by how hard it is to get anything done. I was surprised by how fast the day goes by. But the one thing that really stands out as a huge surprise is how much dirty laundry a baby makes.

In the previous blog I mentioned how much laundry Ruby makes, but I thought it best to describe it in a photo:


Above is 5 days worth of baby laundry. 5 DAYS! That is less than a week. Ruby is 10lbs! Derek and I are much bigger than Ruby and we make much less laundry. Ruby is not even a big spitter-upper! Mind you that some of the dirty laundry is due to our novice parenting. I am sure experience parents make much less dirty laundry.

Each pile of clean laundry you see here is a different category of clothing:
First row from the left:
Warmer onesies without feet, warmer onesies with feet, cotton onesies with feet, cotton onesies without feet, longsleeve body suits, shortsleeve body suits, burp rags.
Second row from the left:
Hats, bibs, socks (notice no matching pairs), nightgowns, wash cloths.
Third row from the left:
Sheets, light blankets, heavy blankets, waterproof pads.
Fourth row from the left:
Towels, sweaters, baby, new clothes that don't fit yet.

It is bananas, it is 5 days worth of laundry.
Our next baby (5+years from now) will be a summer baby. I think there will be much less laundry that way.

BTW: I go back to work on 1/22, so I promise less baby blogs, more commuting/work bitching blogs.