Secretly Unstable

I have been told I am crazy, funny, a good cook, and a decent blogger. These are the expectations I am trying to live up to. Thank you.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Man up Alaina!

I do not think I have ever blogged about my fear of driving. This is surprising since I have been blogging for a while, and my fear of driving is a notable personality fault worthy of comment.

Ok, so I don't drive. I have a license, but I have driven exactly this many times in the 10 years since I got my license:

1. Derek got drunk on his birthday in 1999.
2. Derek took me to practice in Breezy in 2000.
3. I drove to Fairway with Derek in 2005.
4. I drove to Fairway with Derek in 2006.
5. Derek got drunk on his birthday in 2007.
6. I drove to Shoprite with Derek in January 2009.
7. I drove to Shoprite with Derek in February 2009.

So basically unless Derek is drunk or I need to go to the grocery store I don't drove.

Now that Derek is hoobling around on crutches with a broken ankle it has occurred to me that I should "man up" and drive. I could drive Ruby and I around. I can run errands. I can schlep Derek around when he is sober, instead of only on his birthday. I think about myself behind the wheel. Maybe driving down to the beach this summer with Ruby on a Friday. Can I make this happen? Can I get over my fears? What am I really afraid of? I just got to do it right?

If you see me this weekend please tell me to "man up!" I need all of the encouragement I can get.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Sometimes We Are Our Own Little Comedic Duo

Setting: Last week Derek came home around 10PM. As per usual I was sitting in the dark bedroom on the computer. Ruby was sleeping in our bed (grrrr.) And Sweetpea was sleeping in her bed (snore.) From there the laughs ensued.

Derek: whispers> "Is Sweetpea alright?"
Alaina: looks at Sweetpea, who is snoring, and whispers> "Seems to be."
Derek: whispers> "There is a dead cat in the front yard."
Alaina: makes disgusted puke face>
Derek: whispers> "Do you think Sweetpea did it?"
Alaina: looks at Sweetpea, who is snoring, and whispers> "I don't think that is possible"
Derek whispers> "Maybe it was sickly and she finished it off?"
Alaina: looks at Sweetpea, who is snoring, and whispers>"I don't think she has it in her. Which cat was it?"
Derek: whispers> "I dunno, the dead one"
Alaina: whispers, dryly> "very funny"
Derek: whispers> "I am going to clean it up, any final words?"
Alaina: whispers> "Double bag it"

Monday, March 16, 2009

Bringing A Little Ahola Home (aka SPAM Blog)

I posted an album on Facebook that included the food pictures that we took on our recent vacation to Hawaii. One of the things that make Hawaii our paradise is the room. It is all good, and it spans everything that makes food memorable. Two of our favorite Hawaii specials are Saimin and Spam Masubi. Recently we decided to do our best and bring a little ahola to Brooklyn.

Spam Masubi.

I know most of my friends cannot get down with the Spam. But I really have to question your judgment. Have you had Spam? Probably no. Can you really talk smack about a food you haven't tried? Do you eat hot dogs? Probably yes. I do not really see the difference between a hot dog and Spam. It is all pink hodgepodge goodness. Filipinos (me) and Hawaiians (them) are big on Spam for the same reason. The Americans brought it with them to our islands. Now your average American is turning their nose up at this awesome food, when it is your fault we eat it in the first place. Spam is by no means good for you, it is filled with preservatives, sodium, fat, and is processed beyond belief, but it is not very different from the cheese doodles you are snacking on or the MSG in your General Chow's Chicken.

Back to Spam Masubi. In its most simple form it is a hulk of rice with a piece of Spam on top wrapped in nori. I made a copy of the Spam Masubi we had in Kauai at Joe's. After figuring out the ratio of rice to Spam to egg, I did pretty well. I used the empty Spam can as my mold, and my maki making skills that I previously learned to shape it. It was fun to make, and next time I am going to use fried rice!


Saimin

Saimin is like really awesome ramen noodles. A good bowl of Saimin is better than a great bowl of soba noodles. There are tons of ways you can throw together a bowl of Saimin. You can clean out the fridge essentially. Derek made us bowls of Saimin last Sunday. He included, noodles, imitation crab, chicken dumplings, Spam, scallions, garlic, and eggs. It came out really awesome, especially after we threw in some hot sauce.


Recreating the food you enjoyed on a vacation is the best way to bring yourself back to that place. Especially if you put on some island music and have some coconut candy for dessert.
Signs of Aging

I turned 30 last November, plus I had a baby the year prior. These two things combined mean that I am officially an adult. Like officially old. People say that you are as old as you feel. Well that doesn't help my outlook on aging, because I feel like I am about 46. (Thankfully I look like I am 15, so I guess averaging that out, I am back to 30ish.)

Beyond the "number" and the mommy head that I now have, I have noticed a few other signs of aging. These signs mark for me that I am officially old, and I might as well get the tattoos removed and start buying clothes from Dress Barn.

1. I don't get the emo look. All of the bangs on boys, the girl pants on boys, the eye makeup on boys, the sullen looks on their faces.... I just don't get it. On top of what the boys are doing, I really don't understand the emo girl "comb over" and the Tammy Faye eyelash thing. I think in the history of bad looks, this has to be up there. I once sported an ugly punk rock hair do, so I am not saying that I am above an ugly hairdo. But the emo girl comb over and eyelash thing takes two universally BAD looks and combines them. So here I am, I find myself saying, "She is such a pretty girl, why is she doing that to herself?" It is the same thing that Doris Kaufman said about me and my black nail polish when I was 13.

2. The music is too loud. It is either too loud cause it sucks, it is going to wake the baby, it is going to bother the neighbors, or it is giving me a headache. I used to blast music. I didn't care if it ruined my hearing or bothered someone. I didn't care if you were offended. Now I find myself taking off my headphones on the train to make sure that I am not disturbing anyone around. I am such a loser. I remember the old ladies that used to yell up from the park benches outside my bedroom to lower my music. I was 4 floors up, and blasting whatever. I turned it up louder when I saw it annoyed them.

3. I am scared of teenagers. I will change cars on the train. I will avoid eye contact. I will walk quickly pass them. There is a part of me that thinks they will harass or harm me in some way. I dunno what it wrong with me, other than that I am just old. I remember when people were scared of me! Not so much anymore.

4. I am annoyed by change. I don't see any of the younger folks that I am friends with on Facebook complaining about the homepage changes. I swear it is going to take me like 2 weeks to get used to the changes.

5. I find myself talking about the past more than about the future. You hang out with old friends and you spend most of the night talking about when we used to do this and that. We don't really talk about the fun that we are planning to have. Maybe cause we know the best times have passed for now and we have to ship our kids away to college before we can party like rock stars again.

6. I watch CBS. As a media planner I know this means I am old. If I see the ads that I am placing for the Visiting Nurse Service of New York I am old. One of my favorite shows is CBS Sunday Morning. It is a news/magazine show. I also like catching 60 Minutes on Sunday night. What is wrong with me? I used to watch the CW, MTV, and VH1. Now I find MTV confusing, I officially "don't get it."

So there it is. I am old. Crap. Well, even if I am old, at least I am not square. I will never be a square.