Making New Friends
About six to seven years ago I decided that I had enough friends. Derek and I were planning our wedding and decided that we couldn't make any new friends because we could not afford to invite anymore people. We were already pushing 250 guests, so it just made sense at the time to say no new friends. The wedding passed and slowly awesome people started creeping into our lives. So over the last six years we have made some awesome new friends. Some of these new friends are now our closest friends. And I wish they were at our wedding, because I think of it as the moment were all of the people we cared about were in the same room.
The new friends that have entered my life between 2004 and 2007 came in slowly. A person here, a person there, someone introduced through friend, someone that I met at work. A pretty steady stream of new friends in this time period. And as a mentioned some of these people I would consider my nearest and dearest.
Enter Ruby in October 2007, and everything changes. Life is turned upside down and rightside up and back again. I truely believe that we have not lost any friends during this time. The bond between some friendships has grown stronger, other have been redefined, and for the people that we don't get to spend as much time with I still consider them my friends. Part of friendship is understanding and I know they understand why we aren't as available as we used to be. I understand that hanging out with me and my toddler isn't the most interesting thing in the world.
Added to the list of things that "I didn't count on when I became a parent" is that Ruby would make friends for me. (Ruby and Beth (nanny) more accurantly.) In my entire life I never actually had neighborhood friends. I had friends that lived in my neighborhood, but they were my friends before I moved there, so they don't count. Ruby and Beth hang out in the neighborhood, they go to the playground, library, pizzeria... real neighborhood activities. Through these activities they have met other kids and nannies. And through these relationships that they started I have met some really cool people.
It has been a lot of fun, sometimes awkward, and hardly disappointing to go on what are essentially "blind dates" with other couples that have toddlers that are Ruby's friends. I have met musicians, artists, designers, performers... I actually think I am most least interesting of the entire group, which is kinda of intimidating.
Generally, most of our get togethers revolve around the kids. Playdates, birthday parties, holiday parties, playground, etc. But us "cool Moms" (as I have named us) have also gotten together at a local dive bar for drinks after the kids are in bed and the husbands are on duty. We have gotten together twice so far. The first time we talked about our kids for an hour, complained about our husbands for 30 minutes, and talked about how awesome we were before we had kids for 30 minutes. The second time we talked less about the kids and didn't complain as much about our husbands. A good sign that we actually enjoy each other's company and have figured out other things to talk about. (Things other than H1N1, organic vegetables, and nursery schools at least.)
So I consider myself a very lucky person. I have an incredible family. I have great old friends, plenty of fab new friends, and I made super cool Mommy friends. Plus I see that my Ruby girl is well her way to making her own old/new friends. This makes me very happy, since I personally know how important it is to surround yourself with good friends.
About six to seven years ago I decided that I had enough friends. Derek and I were planning our wedding and decided that we couldn't make any new friends because we could not afford to invite anymore people. We were already pushing 250 guests, so it just made sense at the time to say no new friends. The wedding passed and slowly awesome people started creeping into our lives. So over the last six years we have made some awesome new friends. Some of these new friends are now our closest friends. And I wish they were at our wedding, because I think of it as the moment were all of the people we cared about were in the same room.
The new friends that have entered my life between 2004 and 2007 came in slowly. A person here, a person there, someone introduced through friend, someone that I met at work. A pretty steady stream of new friends in this time period. And as a mentioned some of these people I would consider my nearest and dearest.
Enter Ruby in October 2007, and everything changes. Life is turned upside down and rightside up and back again. I truely believe that we have not lost any friends during this time. The bond between some friendships has grown stronger, other have been redefined, and for the people that we don't get to spend as much time with I still consider them my friends. Part of friendship is understanding and I know they understand why we aren't as available as we used to be. I understand that hanging out with me and my toddler isn't the most interesting thing in the world.
Added to the list of things that "I didn't count on when I became a parent" is that Ruby would make friends for me. (Ruby and Beth (nanny) more accurantly.) In my entire life I never actually had neighborhood friends. I had friends that lived in my neighborhood, but they were my friends before I moved there, so they don't count. Ruby and Beth hang out in the neighborhood, they go to the playground, library, pizzeria... real neighborhood activities. Through these activities they have met other kids and nannies. And through these relationships that they started I have met some really cool people.
It has been a lot of fun, sometimes awkward, and hardly disappointing to go on what are essentially "blind dates" with other couples that have toddlers that are Ruby's friends. I have met musicians, artists, designers, performers... I actually think I am most least interesting of the entire group, which is kinda of intimidating.
Generally, most of our get togethers revolve around the kids. Playdates, birthday parties, holiday parties, playground, etc. But us "cool Moms" (as I have named us) have also gotten together at a local dive bar for drinks after the kids are in bed and the husbands are on duty. We have gotten together twice so far. The first time we talked about our kids for an hour, complained about our husbands for 30 minutes, and talked about how awesome we were before we had kids for 30 minutes. The second time we talked less about the kids and didn't complain as much about our husbands. A good sign that we actually enjoy each other's company and have figured out other things to talk about. (Things other than H1N1, organic vegetables, and nursery schools at least.)
So I consider myself a very lucky person. I have an incredible family. I have great old friends, plenty of fab new friends, and I made super cool Mommy friends. Plus I see that my Ruby girl is well her way to making her own old/new friends. This makes me very happy, since I personally know how important it is to surround yourself with good friends.
posted by Alaina @ 8:19 PM
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